aw man

I'm still pissed off from the Pirate bay getting shut down. Nothing is going to cheer me up, not even playing 'peanut butter jelly time" really loud. Maybe this will cheer me up, Tiny Tim covering Rod Stewart:

better than Paris Hilton's version.

R.I.P. Pirate bay

They (by whom I mean the Man) have shut down Piratebay.org. Police raided the offices and took all the servers. That was my favorite torrent site. I'm too upset, I need to go pour a 40oz. out on the curb. (wired article)

yeah

I fogot I have a blog again I should really post something.
I have no idea what the fuck is going on here.



wellp, se you in another six months

Viral Marketing...GET IT!?

I get,
Turns out freaky ass mystery disease Morgellons, (which may or may not be completely psychosomatic and causes black wires to grow out of your skin), Might just be one big hoax/viral marketing thingy to promote A Scanner Darkly. link via adrants

Real nice, good idea people, "lets make up a fake disease and then spread the word about it like it's real". Beside getting picked up on various blog, which is understandable, we like crazy weird crap and don't check facts much. But it also got picked up by legitimate news sources and magazines that you'd expect to do a little research.

Now let me give you a little lesson in memetics to illustrate how this was all a fucking retarded idea. Remember toothing? and to a lesser extent, greenlighting. Now all these two hoaxes involved was some people registering a domain name and putting up a fake forum with some fake post about a way of setting up anonymous sex and after a while real non made up people noticed it and some tried it, toothing even ended up being a minor plot point in an episode of CSI (they're so good at keeping current, they had an episode where a furrie gets murdered). So the way of faking a phenomenon has pretty much already been established, all they had to do was photoshop up some medical images and hit up GoDaddy.

People are surprisingly easy to trick into thinking they have a disease. Recently, Portuguese school children all though they had a mysterious illness after watching a TV show. (link). They saw the show and started attributing all their rashes, sneezes and other symptoms to the disease from the show and they freaked out until they had some kind of full blown psychosomatic illness. So somebody reads one of the Morgellons sites and then they think that their scabies or ingrown hairs or lice, or crazy meth-induced hallucinations are some rare incurable disease that doctors refuse to treat.

Yep, fucking with peoples heads for fun and profits is nice. You just show people enough fabricated evidence and their own imagination fills in the blanks. And then your little baby meme matures into a full blown shit storm.

Lordi, swimming, links, sammich

Man I don't feel like doing shit today. I think I'll take a break from everything for a while. Yeah good stuff.
Amuse yourselves while I'm gone.

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Here watch some Lordi off of YouTube, they are Finnish and they kick ass.

Anybody who disagrees with me clearly doesn't appreciate awesomeness.

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By Now you've probably seen that kid who swam from Alcatraz, (link). I think I'll try swimming accross Long Island Sound, now I don't actually know how to swim or like cold, or water (I am however a big fan of having to shave everything). I should probably figure out how to swim first, maybe get into shape.

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Million Dollar Baby is a good movie, I'm watching it now.

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Crash recovery is my new favorite extension for firefox. I must have crashed this fucker 4 times today, and now I no longer weep uncontrollably when that happens.(linky)

Stuff

This has got to be the first time I've seen a video online of an asian women reading the news where she didn't start taking her clothes of. link (via wonkette)
My penis is so confused now. Does this make me a bad person? probably yes.

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I'm thinking it's more like 1 in 50 people lie on surveys just to be assholes but:

One in 50 teenagers still wet the bed and almost half of 19 year-olds who have a problem are wetting the bed every night, according to research published in the May issue of the urology journal BJUI International.

link

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Man space sneakers are cooler than being cool.link Its like ninja shoes and throwback pumas had an awesome baby.

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They made a movie based off of Fast Food Nation (YouYube link). I liked that book, that's why I don't eat at fastfood places, besides the fact the its greasy flavorless crap served up by somebody who's dead inside, just staring at you with those glazed over cow eyes they've just stopped caring about everything, I'm sure they don't wash their hands....</crazy runon sentence>

She just needs some vitamins and exercise

I just remembered I have a blog, I should probably post something. Maybe I'll take a news story and link to it and then my own opinion in a humorus and irreverent manner, perhaps a funny title referencing something.

Turns out Katie Holmes has postpartum depression. (link)That is some ironi-tastic news. I also learned that UK newspapers totally have naked chicks in them.

meh

I don't feel like posting or writing anything today.
Everytime I look at this I smile. Not because it's cute or anything, I just imagine some parent giving it to their kid and saying "Here sweety wear this so no one eats peanuts near you and you die." I say if you're allergic to something to the extent that you can't smell a trace of it from yards away, you get yourself a bubble or a containment suit or something, don't force other people to change because of you.

This proves it

'Gas' leak causes fiery end to surgery
Flatulence is being blamed for bringing a hospital patient's operation to a fiery end.

The man suffered minor burns in a brief but "dramatic" operating theatre fire. He had gone into the Southern Cross Hospital in Invercargill to have haemorrhoids, or piles, removed and was singed in the "exceedingly rare" incident involving his own gas.

link

My mother always insisted that you can't light a fart. I'm pretty sure you can, methane being flammable and all. I'm just hoping the New Zealand Herald is a reputable journal of opinion so that I can officially prove it to her.

The Banana Famine

I didn't know this but the banana is the most popular fruit and the fourth most important food item. Also, all of the bananas grown pretty much come from one specious that is threatened by disease and fungus. story here

I like bananas, so I'm very concerned. I need my potassium. Only one thing can cheer me up now: (linkage) Aw yeah. Good Stuff.

This seems like a horrible idea.

Pentagon Mulls 'Stealth Sharks'

The Pentagon is funding research into neural implants with the ultimate hope of turning sharks into "stealth spies" capable of gliding undetected through the ocean, the British weekly New Scientist says.

The research builds on experimental work to control animals by implanting tiny electrodes in their brain, which are then stimulated to induce a behavioral response.

Now I'm pretty sure that the Pentagon officials don't watch a lot of Scifi channel original movies but here's how this thing usually goues: Government genetically modifies animal > animal then finds college kids on spring break > chasing;hurting;eating >the one scientist/sherrif/random guy noone listened to saved the day. Anyway, like I said, horrible idea.

TITLE!

I could think of one. I'm just going to ramble on incoherently for a second.

I don't know what I did to fuck up firefox, but the search thing where you highlight stuff and then right click>Search web for"" isn't working.

If I had enough money I could become a scientologist and get me some super powers, (link) I', really surprised at half the stuff they get people to believe or do. Maybe I just overestimate the intelligence of people.

I don't think my clothes are high tech enough, they fit ok and they smell spring time fresh but I think I could do better technologywise. I don't mean shiny space-pants or anything, I mean like different fabric and polymers and nanotechnolgy and stuff for warmth/cooling. Also, more pockets.

Blackalicious makes for some good listening.

New favourite car.

The 1970 Honda Vamos has replaced that special place in my heart once reserved soley for the 1969-1980 Volkswagen Thing.
Just look at that car, it doesn't need your fancy ass, thinkyerbetterthenme doors and roof and engine that gets horsepower in the triple digits. It has character. I looked up the more recent models and I don't really like them, it looks like a tiny minivan, but the 70's models look like tiny minivans that have been tooling around in a post apocalyptic distopia where gasoline is scarce and everyone sports mohawks, football pads and bondage gear.

IAWTP

I didn't know this but the Pope has his own astronomer. That's how he rolls. Anyway, the astronomer guy said

"Religion needs science to keep it away from superstition and keep it close to reality, to protect it from creationism, which at the end of the day is a kind of paganism - it's turning God into a nature god. And science needs religion in order to have a conscience, to know that, just because something is possible, it may not be a good thing to do."

(full story)
aww...<3 seriously

The fringiest interest group yet

So I'm watching some crappy entertainment news show and they were talking about the Da Vinci Code movie. They had on this family of albinos and they were complaining that the movie shows albinos and a negative light (pun!) and that they have in the past gotten mistreated by people because of their appearance and they pointed out that anytime there's an albino character in anything they are evil.

Now I think that is just bullshit. I get how the Catholic Church and Opus Dei are all pissed off at the book and movie, it's pretty biased against them what with the conspiracy and the murdering. But the fact that the guy is an albino is just a plot point that has to do with the character's back story, a Macguffin if your so inclined. People whine too much. And have they seen Powder? Good watching right there, that melanin and hair deficient kid taught us all how to love again.

Poor David Blaine

I saw his "Drowned Alive" special last night. I feel bad for him that he didn't make the record but it was still extremely impressive. And then I check the internets today and all these people are hating for no reason. In fact, I might go as far as to say they ingested hatorade©. They're all schadenfreudey about him not making the record (ok you sit in a fishbowl for a week until your hands get so pruney you could have nerve damage and then hold your breath for 8 minutes) and also calling him an attention whore. He's an entertainer of course he wants attention, that's the point. You don't go up to a singer or actor and tell them to not do what they do because they just want attention. Also his magic tricks were really good, I like close-up magic.

I'd say it's more Like World War V but whatever

Bush likens 'war on terror' to WWIII

US President George W Bush has referred to the "war on terror" as "World War III" during a television interview.

Mr Bush told the CNBC television network the revolt of passengers on the hijacked flight 93 on September 11, 2001, was the "first counter-attack to World War III".

He said he agreed with the description by David Beamer, whose son Todd died in the crash, in a Wall Street Journal commentary last month the act was "our first successful counter-attack in our homeland in this new global war - World War III".

(link)

hmmm....

You scored as agnosticism. You are an agnostic. Though it is generally taken that agnostics neither believe nor disbelieve in God, it is possible to be a theist or atheist in addition to an agnostic. Agnostics don't believe it is possible to prove the existence of God (nor lack thereof). Agnosticism is a philosophy that God's existence cannot be proven. Some say it is possible to be agnostic and follow a religion; however, one cannot be a devout believer if he or she does not truly believe. agnosticism 88% Satanism 88% Islam 67% Buddhism 58% Paganism 50% Judaism 50% Hinduism 46% Christianity 33% atheism 33% Which religion is the right one for you? (new version) created with QuizFarm.com

Didn't see that happening.

Mullet!

For the right angle, it looks like I have a mullet.

I don't actually though.

Happy Cinco de Mayo, the holiday that celebrates Mexico's independence from France. Without out them winning some battle or something, everybody would be speaking French now, instead of Spanish and...eating crepes instead of tortillas and I'm pretty sure there wouldn't be any Lucha Libre, the french don't like that sort of thing they would have soem circe de soliel crap on instead.

I know my audience

I don't know why but people keep ending up on this site after searching for the "750 pound man" that I mentioned in a previous post. For some reason they're all coming the midwest, go figure. So I though of you when I saw this story: Man weighing 1,200 pounds seeks life-saving surgery

Now I don't throw around the term "Crazy BItch" a lot but,

Profesional crazy religious person stereotype and fetal alcohol syndrom sufferer, Shirley Phelps Roper was on Hannity and Colmes recently. Now I'm not very religious, but if I was shopping around for a new church I would try and find one that isn't founded by a drug addled sociopath.

Best How-to off Kuroshin evar!

Just read this: How to cure your asthma or hayfever using hookworm - a practical guide .

Makes sense to me, a bunch of disease are just the body acting up because they don't have much to do what without any parasites and cooties to fight off. Like Crohn's disease and allergies. I've got pretty bad allergies but I'd prefer to stay worm free.

He risks getting dangerously pruney

I'm going to go check out David Blaine this week while he's floating in his giant goldfish bowl for a week and then holding his breath for nine minutes. flickr thing about it Gothamist link

I'd try something like that myself, but as a rule I don't do anything that requires a catheter, my urethra and I have what you might call an understanding about not shoving things up there.

Just a big ol' pile of awesomeness

I found a bunch of stuff today that neither pissed me off or made me feel all uncomfortable (oozinator).

First up, Chinlone. My new favourite sport. It has replaced competitive eating, lucha libre when they have midgets, beard growing and parkour. Here's a link to a site about a documentary of it with a bunch of really amazing video clips. (link) It's from Myanmar, it consist of five people in a circle and one in the middle kicking around a woven rattan ball and doing moves that look like a really skilled, complex, martial arts and dance influenced version of hacky sack.

Not quite as impressive, scientist have gotten water to run uphill. linky I want them to keep working on things that seemingly defy physics like that so one day I will be able to grab my self by the back of the shirt and lift myself off the ground like the Lorax.

More stuff, I've been looking at The Saddest Thing I Own. After a while I had to go read some postsecret cards about serious mental illness and self injury for a nice pick me up and change of pace. Why does everybody on the interweb have to be all depressing and shit, I liked it better when it was all naked people and free music...damn kids with your asymmetrical hair and myspace crowding up the net.

And another thing, why can't I find any classic slimjim commercials on youtube. The ones from the 90's where the MachoMan Randy Savage would bust through a wall and give somebody a slimjim to really the crushing mundaneness and sameness of life. Those little tubes of mechanically separated chicken and beef represented freedom. Freedom.

Urawaza is all kinds of good. Turns out all those tips and tricks that were in Japanese are actually from this one show. YouTube has a bunch of them.

Also, new (or kind of new, I hadn't seen it before) Gorillaz video: linkage

The Oozinator

I says to myself, I says, damn that can't be real. Funny though. The oozinator:


So wrong... But it's real (hasbro link) Which marketing genius thought it would be a good idea to sell a rather Giger-esque looking toy gun that shoots fake splooge? I bet this would sell really well in Japan.